Parents differ on when, how to introduce sex education |

Some parents in Ibadan have expressed diverse views on when and how sex education should be introduced to children.

The parents aired their views in separate interviews with the News Agency of Nigeria on Saturday.

An entrepreneur, Oluwatosin Awogbami, said that sex education should begin from the age of three years, when the child already knows their body parts.

Awogbami said the best age is when they are being taught the different body parts, letting them know the appropriate places to touch, and not to allow anybody to touch.

“Sex education is an ongoing conversation that should never end between parents and their children.

“It is a constant and impromptu conversation that should never end, most especially in real-life situations.

“Parents and their children could be seated together, watching movies and sex scenes pop up; in such situations, parents should seize the opportunity to have real-life conversations.

“We must always educate them against inappropriate content, both online and offline.

“Social media is going crazy with vile and insecure sexual activities, content, scenes, scandals and whatnots.

“We must let them know to avoid all these and then teach them what to do when they are faced with them.

She also identified the situation when a teenage girl is found pregnant as another opportunity to initiate a sex education conversation.

“At such a time, parents should point out the dangers of having premarital and unprotected sex to their children,” she said.

A father,  Azeez Oluwole, said that talks should begin at age four.

Oluwole said that children should be told to avoid certain kinds of play, and when they err, they should be corrected without beating them.

“Better explanations start from age six and not only focus on the religious aspect.

“Using only the spiritual aspect will create fear, and when a child doubts who God is, you will hardly succeed.

“A child should understand the risk associated with whatever he or she does and develop a personal desire to protect him or herself rather than fulfilling a religious right.

“Many parents use religion to introduce sex education, and this thrives on fear.

“The last thing I want to do to my children is to create fear.

“I try my best to make them understand that heaven won’t fall if they make mistakes, but I let them know that there are implications for mistakes.

“As they grow older, I adjust and filter what I say to them while educating.

Also Read

“This goes to both genders as both are prone to abuse,” he said.

Oluwole, with four children between the ages of four and 11, said he was almost abused when he was seven years old, but for a relative who came in to save him.

“So, I know how important it is for early exposure to sex education.

“I told my son what he would experience in the age bracket with women.

“If he doesn’t learn to control his urges between the ages of 14 and 21, he would never learn sexual discipline,” he said.

Oluwabusayo Adegoke, the Chief Operating Officer, Purelife Health, said that as a mother of three girls, “I don’t take this topic lightly.

“The best way to introduce it is through honest, simple, age-appropriate conversations that evolve as the child grows, focusing first on body autonomy, consent, safety, and trust, before moving into deeper conversations around puberty, relationships, and sexuality.

“It should feel like an ongoing conversation, not a one-time talk.

“With my daughters, I started the body awareness, boundaries and conversation by teaching them with traffic lights illustration – red, yellow and green zones of the body.

“Then at some points, I taught them about menstruation so much that we track my period and plan for it together.”

A mother, Temitope Adelakun, said that with this generation, sex education should be introduced the very moment the children understand A from B.

She said she almost made a terrible mistake, thinking that her children were too young at ages five and seven.

“Though some of us raise our kids in a bubble, many kids mingle with them in school who have no structured training and upbringing at home.

“I think the earlier the better, but at some point, I felt uncomfortable that they should maintain their innocence for as long as possible.

“I also noticed that girls evolve earlier, and I noticed that from Grade 5, some girls look so mature that I am sure older boys would approach them, thinking they are older.

“Right now, in JSS 1, I have had an encounter with girls who got ‘chanced’ because they didn’t understand what was happening.

“So, you can start teaching them from age 5, depending on how smart the child is and how evolved they are.

“There is a way they can be told that would fascinate them into wanting to try it out, and there is a way to let them know the risks and that though the choices lie with them, there are consequences,” she said.

Adelakun said she preferred parents being the first to talk to the children, considering the sensitivity of the matter.

“It is hard, and as a parent, honestly, it is not a conversation I enjoy having, but it is needed.

“There is no hard way to introduce sex education; these kids don’t come with a manual.

“Presentation differs per child. I have two kids who are worlds apart.

“Whether we like it or not, they get exposed to ‘feelings’ quite early; it’s all around them, even in cartoons. We can’t shield them from it all.

“I would watch some cartoons and feel uncomfortable, but if I am to censor all cartoons, they won’t watch anything at all,” she said.

[wpadcenter_ad id=’745970′ align=’none’]